UNICORNS STOLE MY PHONE!!!

I was riding the Central Line to Ealing Common when suddenly, a horny freak appeared before me in a cloud of glitter and smoke. 

The train entered a tunnel and I felt the unicorn's breath upon my cheek. It smelled of cupcakes and broken dreams.

HOOVES! HOOVES EVERYWHERE!!!

And in a flash, my behorned assailant was gone.

Cheeky unicorn